A University of Alabama instructor and Tuscaloosa-based author calmly clapped back Saturday evening after a Miami fan shared a parody rap track dissing the Crimson Tide ahead of their season-opening showdown against the Hurricanes in Atlanta next Saturday.

The 'Canes fanatic, who goes by Coach Coop, dropped the original track Friday -- first on YouTube and then on Twitter.

With incendiary lines such as "That Crimson and White is gonna put up a fight but I believe we get the dub by the end of the night," and "Been waiting for our time and its finally here, Bama's bandwagon fans about to disappear," someone had to step up and defend the honor of the Tide.

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Enter Brain Oliu, a senior creative writing instructor in UA's Department of English.

A day after Coach Coop took to Twitter saying Alabama fans "seemed afraid to comment" on his diss track, Oliu uploaded his a response, a spoken-word scorcher to set the record straight.

In a follow-up Tweet, Oliu joked that he raps like an English Lit major who listened to too much MF Doom, but his two-minute response is a good lesson in why you shouldn't start a battle of words against an award-winning poet.

"Miami bass? This man is Miami baritone," Oliu called back. "Team so low on our register we could start a saxophone player in the Million Dollar Band -- play your cards right and our 8-million dollar man might put the backups in after a millionth RB ran for a million yards like Millie Bobby Brown did in Stranger Things."

From shoutouts to sharp references and a refresher on how each team has fared in recent years, Oliu's carefully crafted response had it all.

"RIP to Fluff, it's big boy season, y'all haven't eaten since the 80's," he said. "The only Canes that will be open Saturday will be the one in Paty."

Decide for yourself who won the war of words, but I know who gets my vote. For more coverage before, during and after the game Saturday, stay connected to Tide 100.9 and the Tuscaloosa Thread.

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